With regret, we see that many men are not truly men. Rather they are something close to being men or imitating men, but not true men. ~Sheikh Muhammad ibn Salih Al-Uthaymeen
Throughout the Muslim community, many people complain about the lack of real men, males who embody the characteristics of chivalry and honor, of generosity and gentleness. Muslim women looking for spouses complain about the lack of eligible partners, saying that even when they lower their standards to the bare minimum, they are still unable to find suitable partners.
Islamic history has always been characterized by the men it produced. From sahabah the likes of ‘Umar ibn al-Khattab (ra) and Ali ibn Abi Talib (ra), to imams such as Abu Hanifa and ibn Taymiyyah and Ahmad ibn Hanbal, to leaders such as Nur ud-Din Zengi and Salahuddin Ayyubi and Muzaffar Qutz to the modern age with people such as Shah Ismail Shaheed and Uthman Dan Fodio and Imam Shamil and Hassan al-Banna. Islamic history is full of men who, following in the footsteps of the Best of Men, showed what it means to be a true man.
During the khilafah of ‘Umar ibn al-Khattab (ra), he was sitting with some of the sahabah and asked them to make a wish. One of them said, “I wish, oh Commander of the Faithful, that this house was filled from wall to wall and floor to ceiling with gold so that I could take that gold and spend it in the path of Allah.” ‘Umar ibn al -Khattab (ra) shook his head, dissatisfied, and asked, “Someone else, make a wish.” Another man got up, “I wish, oh Commander of the Faithful, that this house was filled from wall to wall and floor to ceiling with gems and jewels so that I could spent it all in charity and the the path of Allah.” ‘Umar (ra) again shook his head, dissatisfied, and again asked, “Someone else, make a wish.” The companions were at a loss, “Oh Commander of the Faithful, we don’t know what better thing to ask for.” Then ‘Umar (ra) spoke.
“I wish that this house was filled from wall to wall and floor to ceiling with men the likes of Abu Ubaydah Amir ibn al-Jarrah, Mu’adh ibn Jabal, and Salim mawla Abu Hudhayfah so that I could use them to spread the word of Allah.”
In a constant bid to counteract Islamophobia and myths about women in Islam, the discourse in Islamic circles has unfortunately sidelined and neglected tarbiyyah of Muslim men. In its absence, Muslim boys learn what it means to be a man from their outside environment. And herein lies the problem. Those characteristics which once defined what it meant to be a man are increasingly being lost. One view of masculinity reduces men to boys who are emotionally stunted, physically aggressive, and sexually unbridled. Here, a man’s worth is measured by how many notches have been inscribed into his bedpost, how angry he gets when encountering conflict, and how dry his eyes can remain when touched with sadness. Rising as a counterbalance to this view is the view that the entire concept of manhood is misogynist. Teaching boys to be men is seen as backwards and patriarchal.
The end result of both of these is the crisis of manhood in the world at large. Faith leaders across all religions share that the young women in their congregations constantly ask them, “Where do I find good men?”
This website aims to change that.
Hassan al-Banna was once asked why someone of his caliber had not authored many books. He replied, “I spent my time authoring men.”
Throughout Islamic history, men and women put a strong emphasis on the tarbiyyah of future generations. Sitting with a scholar usually entailed learning his adab and character before ever learning a single hadith or fiqh scenario. When Imam Malik ibn Anas began his Islamic education, his mother famously dressed him in his best clothes, wrapped a turban around his head, and then told her young son,
“Go to Imam Rabi’ah and learn his adab before you learn his knowledge.”
Unfortunately, this is not something many Muslim men have access to in this day and age. A gaps exists between book knowledge and practical application of that knowledge in our everyday life. This website aims to fill that gap, providing articles aimed at cultivating a holistic Muslim man. From articles about chivalry to Islamic history to poetry to clothing to cooking, this website will insha’Allah be an attempt at reviving the concept of manhood amongst Muslims.